Thursday, July 23, 2015

The Ad Read....

....Jacques Cousteau doesn't live here anymore. 

Please know that I am not criticizing anyone's decorating style at all, because we all have different tastes.  I am just one of those people that feel if you decorate with a distinct theme, that "less is more" and you should at least have children in the house to enjoy this decor.  This was a single man (several times divorced) and no children lived in or visited this house. So, with that being said...

The statement above would be enough to make any normal person head for the hills and stay far away from this house.  But not us.  The hubster smelled a bargain.  And once he saw this view in the online photos....


...there was no keeping him from seeing this house.  It was on the 12th hole of a very nice golf course.  For me, I smelled a rat, or dead squid, from the get go because the price of the house was too affordable for a house on a "very nice golf course". 


The hubster would not listen to reason or logic.  I argued and pleaded.  There was no screened in porch and that was one of my demands "wish list" items.  The house already had a big glaring X all over it for me.  He argued that we might be able to "fix it up".  NO, no more fixer uppers for this chick.  But off we went....to see the undersea world of Jacques Cousteau.

Once we arrived on the scene, the realtor unlocked the house and we stepped inside.  I smelled fresh paint...maybe there was hope for this house after all.  She told us the details and stated that each room was being painted and that a lot, and she emphasized "a lot" of the fish decor had been removed .  Okay, I can work with this...


Unfortunately, it had high ceilings with another nosebleed lookout.  Maybe I can deal with it, let's see the rest of the house.

While it didn't have a screened in porch, the deck area was nice, a triple-decker...ha ha..get it..triple-decker, 'cuz there are 3 decks....anyway...


The hubby even took the time to check the trajectory of golf balls hit off the tee to make sure that the windows wouldn't be busted by a golfer's errant hook or slice.


The kitchen had been updated with new countertops and all new appliances.  Cool.  Lots of storage.  Let's see more.  We head upstairs.  This is where it all came to a screeching halt!

The realtor should have mentioned that Arnold Palmer lived here also, because there was an entire room wallpapered with scenes from Pebble Beach Golf Course and the floor was covered with green carpet...a perfect indoor putting green!  And I bet if I had lifted that loose patch of carpet in the center of the floor, I would have found one of those little cups that you hit the ball into.  I'm so sorry I do not have a photo of Arnold Palmer's room.  You would stand there like I did with your mouth hanging open.  I was speechless and left the room immediately....and unfortunately encountered this room..


My words to the realtor, "I thought you said Jacques Cousteau and his stuffed animals didn't live here anymore!"  She said it would be painted and the remnants of the undersea world would be removed.  She also indicated that we should have seen it "before" most of the items had been removed. I feared another exorcism was in order because there was no way Jacques and his buddies were willingly leaving this house.

Moving on, we saw this...


"Is the owner taking that poster with him?  And exactly when will the staff of Sea World be leaving this house?"

And just when you think it could not possibly get any worse....this...


See that photo on the left wall of the pool table?  That's not a photo.  That is a hole cut into the wall....with a gen-u-ine 3-dimension "aquarium" of little fishes that have his grandkids' heads on them.  Each fish has a cute little smiling child's face.  The realtor happily told us that if we would give the owner some family photos, he could personalize that "aquarium" just for us.  You know what the hubby said?  "Is he going to leave that stereo system?"  What??!!  Are you crazy??!!  I'm hopping on the first shark fin and swimming out of this place.

That was it, out the door I went.  I had nightmares for days about all those fish sporting the heads of little children.

And the search continued...







*photos courtesy of realtor
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26 comments

  1. Okay, yes we all have different taste's in decorating.... but hopefully that homeowner moved closer to the ocean to be in his own .....ummm let's say element.Okay, the French's mustard shutter's did need a color update, the downstairs not bad, the bathroom scared me. When I thought I'd seen the most different than my taste, THE AQUARIUM .I've never, I don't know , how can I put it ???? Sorry , but that WAS creepy to say the least. I know the realator knew herself, sound's like she was pretty tongue in cheek with her explanation's. I bet she was happy to get that as a listing. Lol ( not to offend anyone) Can't wait to see what you've settled on !!! Any aquarium's in it ? Hug's girl !!! TT

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    1. It was definitely a different house. The owner is the one I was most concerned about. I mean, I know men, left to their own resources, usually have no decorating style, but this was more than eccentric. And the photos the realtor had did not even capture an “nth” of what was in this house. The realtor let us know that originally the owner was not going to change anything inside that he thought it would sell like it was. She convinced him to remove some of the aquatic elements from the house and start painting the rooms because they were all electric blue. There were quite a few other things in that house that I couldn’t even discuss. They have finally removed the listing from the market after having been out there for about 6 months. It has not been sold. And no, the new house has zero aquariums…I can’t even watch Finding Nemo without cringing…and I love that movie! :-) Hugs!!!

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  2. I'm afraid everyone is going to miss the points of this house:

    - it's on the 12th hole
    - it has a full-wall mural of the 7th green at Pebble Beach
    - and it's got a pool table, too!

    All that other stuff you've mentioned... that's why they make Kilz.
    (a pool table)

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    1. See, this is why it took us so long to find a house...

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  3. Hubster, all I could think about when I looked at this house was People Are Strange by The Door's. Nix your so called amenities !!! The second hole on Pebble Beach is much better. Benita, get a newspaper and swat him, that darn song is stuck in my head now !!!!!! Hug's to Benita ONLY, TT

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    1. Tammy, you are too funny and thank you!!!! Now you’ve got that song running through my head!! Hugs!!!!

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  4. You guys should have your own tv show...he said, she said. It would be hysterical! And really, fish with kids' heads on them? I don't care what your decorating style is...ummm, no.

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    1. LOL...we could do a podcast...modern day Mutt and Jeff. Girl, I cannot even begin to tell you some of the more scary things in this house. Those fish were only the top of the iceberg!

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  5. The search continues and yes I agree that people defiantly have different decorating styles!

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    1. Thankfully, our search has ended and we don’t have to look any longer. :-) And yes, they do.

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  6. Hi Benita.....wow interesting style of decorating...HaHa! So did you find something?

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    1. Definitely interesting! :-) Yes, we did!! I’m so glad the search is over. I will be posting about it on Monday but have a few other house stories to share first! :-)

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  7. Your search has ended? Do tell, girlfriend!
    Brenda

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    1. Yes, girl, thank goodness it is over!! We have a contract on a house and hope to close August 17th. We are so excited....I just couldn't take the house hunting ordeal anymore. My nerves were frazzled and the search was eating up every waking moment! I will be posting about it on Monday. :-) I've got a couple of other houses to show y'all and then I will show what we bought. YAY!!

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  8. Tears are running down my face....You can't be serious! Say it isn't so!! WOW! I'm glad this is the one that got away! Oh my! So happy for you to be able to have a house of your own now! That's awesome! Congratulations!
    hugs, Christine

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    1. Christine…thank you so much! We are so excited and can’t wait to get settled into our new home!! This one was definitely something else!! :-) Hugs!!

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  9. Whoa...makes me rethinking ever making a themed room/

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    1. LOL...I think themed rooms are perfectly fine.....the decor should just be chosen carefully...LOL

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  10. First of all, I love it that hubster interacts here! Not sure whether I'd want mine to or not though!

    I see that blue is certainly in lately in magazines, might not be that particular underwater blue.

    The deck looked interesting, spacious. Hard to screen in though.

    Okay Benita, are you going to be freaked out if you come see the old Italian fish majolica I collect? I do tell everyone they are Not beach-themed, not tropical theme. They are Italian fish so they're cool, right?

    Love you!
    Dewena

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    1. The hubster always needs to put his 2 cents in...LOL You know, I have seen a lot of blue lately as well, but more subtle shades rather than the "in your face" colors. The deck was definitely not a "screener" and was 3 levels...and very large. I'm not going to be freaked out...LOL Those are collections, which are totally different and yes, they are cool....LOL. You are so funny! Love you too!!

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  11. Amazing what some people think is nice to live with. Honestly, if it weren't for me being the decorator of my house, my husband would have it wall to wall DC and Marvel characters, like the room behind the closed door upstairs!

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    1. LOL…that is hilarious!! It’s the same way here…Edward would have bricks and blocks and a few newspapers thrown all over the floor. He would roll the FJ in and work on it right in the middle of the living room…LOL You have gotta take some photos of that room and post them on your blog..LOL

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  12. lol, that looks and sounds horrendous. for me the golf course would have been enough already to chase me away...

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    1. It is what happens when you leave men to their own decorating resources...golf and deep-sea diving...LOL. The hubster loved that golf course though.

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  13. All I can say is Holy Crap!

    xo

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    1. LMAO…Rue, I was wondering what you would have to say about this house! :-) Hugs!!

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